The Fourth "R" -- Rational Thinking

I recently had a client of mine tell me that she wished kids were taught what she had been learning in our sessions and applying in her daily life.  She believed that it would make a huge difference in preventing major problems that seem to occur with such regularity – anxiety disorders, depression, low self-worth, suicide attempts, bullying, etc.  It should be required learning, she said.  I said to her, “It should be the fourth ‘R’ to go along with reading, ‘riting and ‘rithmatic… rational thinking.”  

What I had been teaching her for the past few months and that she had been practicing so diligently was the principles and techniques of an approach to therapy called “Rational Living Therapy (RLT).”  I was taught this approach to therapy by Dr. Aldo Pucci in his Level I and II trainings in Shreveport, LA.  RLT is a version of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy that is very structured and systematic.  The goal of RLT is for the client to learn how to engage in rational self-counseling and no longer have a need for therapy.

I agree with my client that the ideas and techniques of RLT should be required learning for all children.  Children need to be taught how to think rationally.  Usually they are only taught information that they memorize for a test and immediately forget as soon as the test is over.  They are also taught a very erroneous idea that is hard to overcome – being so ingrained in the thinking of the world and reinforced over and over again.

The erroneous idea they and all of us are taught is that the cause of our emotions and behaviors is people and situations outside of us.  Our very language betrays this idea.  How often do we say things like the following:

“He made me angry.”

“That noise scared me.”

“I am so depressed because she left me.” 

What we are saying in each of these situations is that the cause of our upset is a person or situation.  If it is true that “things” outside of us cause our upset, it must also be true that “things” outside of us cause our feelings of calm or happiness.  It means that we are the emotional slaves of people and situations outside of our control.  It means that we can only be okay if other people or situations “act right” and make us feel okay. 

Instead, what we learn with RLT – at first theoretically and then experientially – is that the cause of our emotions and behaviors is our thinking.  In order for our language to reflect this understanding, we would say things like the following:

“He did so-an-so, and I had thoughts about what he did that caused me to feel angry.”

“I had thoughts about that noise, and those thoughts scared me.”

“I had thoughts about her leaving me, and those thoughts depressed me.”

Such language, though unusual for us, is much more accurate when it comes to the cause of our emotions and actions.  Something happens, I have thoughts about what happened, those thoughts then tell my body how to feel and how to act.  The cause is not the “things” outside of us.  The cause is our thinking.  What this means is that we are responsible for how we feel and act.  Our thinking is the cause of our feelings of upset and our feelings of calm or happiness.  It means that we are now empowered to determine our emotions and actions by determining what we think.  We are no longer the victim of circumstance. 

The first step in RLT is identifying the thoughts that are upsetting us.  Once we identify them, we must determine if our thoughts are rational or irrational.  Rational thinking is not the same as positive thinking.  Let’s face it, some positive thoughts can be pretty irrational (i.e. “I am the greatest singer in the world.”  Just watch the American Idol auditions to see how irrational this positive thought can be).  A rational thought must meet three criteria:

1. It must be based on fact. 
2. It must help us to achieve the goals that we have for ourselves.
3. It must help us to feel the way we want to feel. 

If the thought does not meet all three of the above criteria it is considered irrational.  Our job then becomes to change the thought in such a way that it will pass the three criteria.  Once we come up with a new rational thought, we are instructed to practice the thought.  We need to practice it enough so that it replaces the irrational thought that it corrects – an irrational thought that we have probably been practicing for a very, very long time – possibly our entire lives. 

There is more to Rational Living Therapy than can be covered in this blog entry.  Through the six phases of RLT, we learn various techniques and ideas that we practice, practice, practice, until they become natural for us.  The end result is a person who finally understands true cause and effect – mind and its contents are cause – my emotions and behaviors are the effect.  Finally understanding this and internalizing it is truly revolutionary and life-transforming.

(To learn more about RLT and to purchase trainings or products visit http://www.rational-living-therapy.org/)